Mr. and Mrs. Perkins Go Gift Shopping 2011 "It's going to be hard to top the Englebert Humperdink retrospective we got for Auntie Perkins last year." "Let's go in here!"

The 1% Chef: The only kitchen products not made in China. "Look! Here's a saucepan hand-forged by rustic peasant women in Provence!" "And a $500 egg separator made from decommissioned German tanks!"

THE DATA MINE Electronics: All products now embedded with Carrier IQ Spyware! As seen on your smartphone "How about this place?" "I find their customer service a bit intrusive."

The Holiday Minimalist "It's the thought that counts." This year, give a conceptual gift: an empty box. "Um..."

"Let's just go with fruitcake!"