RED WHITE AND BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL Instead of, say, taxing billionaires, the U.S. is considering selling off government assets to raise money. Here's a peek at items to be offered. Fracking rights to Mt. Rushmore

Gerald Ford's mysteriously-awesome record collection. Shown: Ohio Players and Confunkshun albums Found in the White House basement. Who knew the former prez liked to go to Funkytown?

Pentagon rented out for private parties. Hallways ideal for roller derbies

Presidential Sperm Bank - Have a baby with real Commander-in-Chief DNA!